Saturday, August 30, 2008

The August of Our Decline

This blog used to just suck. Now it royally, supremely, routinely chokes on the world's (fill in favorite body part here). We need to pick it up. Whoever wrote that Radiohead entry should write more. I think it won some awards ... a Bloggie, maybe? John Q. Public loved that one ... or someone like that.

Call the Enquirer




Oh my God you guys, check this out: the Virgin Mary appeared in my pillow case this morning. The back of my head must be kissed by the wet tongue of Jesus.

Late Update: OMG you guys. I just Googled "wet tongue of Jesus" and I'm the only entry. I'm the first person to say "wet tongue of Jesus" on the Internet. Crowning Achievement! And ... Copyright!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

"BBC" or "Blind By Choice"

Some interesting news about the BBC's charitable spirit. It seems as though they don't actually know where the money is going, but they still care about the cause of course. They just don't care enough to follow through. I mean it makes them feel good so...

Also check out http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7392213.stm

And somebody please comment on how to link without actually doing what I did above, where I would just put "this article". I just can't seem to keep up.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Booze?

Mr. Kimball is a conservative. He is "hoping that sanity [will] prevail against the neo-temperance activism that would have us endeavor to prevent college students from legally enjoying a few, or even several, beers." The libertarians must also be in favor of lowering the drinking age I can only assume... Who thinks it should be 21??? The God-forsaken religious right? (not a pun) Those who selfishly believe in perpetuating the same unfairness they once endured?

Kimball says he thinks the drinking age drives drinking "underground." Reading that, I couldn't help thinking about all those nights waiting outside Ghetto Gerbes for a friendly mid-Missouri methhead or thug to come save us from our sobriety. One time we made the mistake of driving one of them home in exchange for our Aristocrat and wine-coolers. He offered us an amazing deal on a flat screen television.

I think this story might help explain the real reason people don't want to lower the drinking age. The underground electronics market from theif to thirsty teen-ager is obviously a booming industry. The current drinking age is obviously a socialist-inspired policy driven by hatred of private property. Those lefties are so clever sometimes!!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

When will Jesus bring the pork chops?

The Springfield city council recently hired a new city manager and I believe are paying him one of the highest salaries in the county for that position (relative to the size of the city and all that jive whatever). The main whine I am hearing from the backwoods on this one goes as such: The city has had a hard time coming up with the money for our police and firefighter's pensions. They have made all kinds of cuts in all kinds of places to come up with what they need so far, but still say it will remain a major problem. So, the whine goes, how can the city council justify paying someone, with no experience they point out incessantly, such a high salary when they are having to make cuts yada yada. You get the point.

So here's the question, Can you justify paying this man so much money saying the problems are so big that is just how much it costs to get someone in who can fix them? Does the fact that he has zero city manager experience eliminate that justification? Does anyone care about local politics? Did 'Sarah Steelman' even actually exist? Can I vote for Micheal Phelps for president? Is anyone listening anymore? Is BPB real? Does anyone love me? Ok, well then does anyone have any drugs?

Free Coiffures For the (Un)Fortunate

If they give free haircuts to the homeless, I have a feeling John Edwards didn't actually pay for that $300 haircut. I smell a scandal!!!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Raise your hand if you're tired of baby boomers....

then take that hand down and slap a baby boomer. Selfish pricks.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Dr. Huckstable's diagnosis spot on

Bill Cosby and NPR's Juan Williams are taking on Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson as to the reasons many black communities are struggling. It remains to be seen if the people with the power to change things are listening, and/or have the courage to stand up and fight the enablers.

Lobotomized Masses. With Pictures.


I know what you're thinking: Hey, didn't you go to All Points West Festival last weekend to see Radiohead, Kings of Leon, Animal Collective, et al? Well, yes, I did. Thanks for asking. Let me tell you about it.

Quick wrap-up of Animal Collective and Kings of Leon: First off, the crowd reception at these festivals is hit or miss. When you sandwich a band like Animal Collective between KoL and some shit-brick neo-80s dance-rap band Chromeo, three very different bands, there's a weird vibe ... an odd mix of annoyance and patience. People aren't as open to new music as they claim. AC was average. I think most of what they played was new, so I was lost, but "open to new music." KoL, though, were a bit of a disappointment. I can't put my finger on it, because they played essentially the same set from when I saw them twice last year, and I thought those shows were good. The more I think about it, the more I don't like their third album. And they lean on it heavily, so there you go. Or maybe I was distracted by the buzzing in my head.



Fast forward an hour or so. The buzzing has only intensified as the lights above Liberty Park dull. I'm thinking it has to be the crowd; if I see one more faux-hawk or ironic mustache, I'm going to intentionally choke to death on my own puke. That'll solve things, right?

My 18'' x 18'' box of living space amid the mass of followers gets tighter with every passing minute. My ear starts to ache and the buzz-hum has morphed into a shrill ringing. I try to ignore it, but it feels like I've got one of those ear worm-things from 'Wrath of Khan' rooting around in my brain, first burrowing, then feasting on whatever matter its jaws can handle. Facial tics and minor muscle spasms kick in ... "The show's about to start," someone says in the distance. Not only has the sun disappeared for the night, but the stage is pitch black. The noise that's engulfed my brain for the last 30 minutes is now blasting from the speakers, as if my own brain waves are being transmitted for all to know. Can they hear my thoughts? Will everyone know my inner-monologue? Stop thinking, I think.

A voice from the loud speaker interrupts the pulsating cacophonic melody that has engulfed the atmosphere. "Attention," a bland female voice insists of us as the stage lights activate, flooding the crowd with a yellow hue. I look around wondering if anyone can hear this, or if I'm purely lost in my own hysterical thoughts. I'm not alone; every other concertgoer faces the stage attentively, eyes concentrated on the speaker waiting for what comes next. Silence. The rooting influence in my ear is only getting worse, but I'm too fixated on the stage to care. "Attention," the speaker barks again. "Radiohead will not present themselves tonight. Rather, you will be automatically entertained by projectile holographic replication." The revving engine in my head begins again, but to a degree unlike ever before.

The crowd waits, transfixed on the empty space. I notice the stage lights are now off, but some kind of lighting still exists. It begins from behind me. It's getting ever brighter. I'm starting to sweat, a cold, profuse sweat. My face is paralyzed, and the crux of my headache has moved to my frontal lobe, down to my eyeballs. The lights to the stage are brighter and brighter, but nothing appears. The pressure on my face is immeasurable, as if a team of horses has been harnessed to it in an attempt to pull it off my skull. I'm blinded by the glow coming from my own eyes. The stage is littered with tiny sets of golden beams, as we all supply our own contribution to the fully-lit platform. The beams begin to coagulate into coordinated shapes of differing size. The defined figures begin to move on their own, controlling the beams that shoot from each in the sea of people. Our heads and bodies must follow suit. They control us now.


The five fully-formed illuminated holograms stay silent as they move about in spastic activity. Our beams supply instruments, three guitars, a bass and a drum kit, microphones, amplifiers and a litany of machinery that flicker, as if animate objects themselves.

The smallest of the figures approaches the microphone and opens his mouth. The buzzing and ringing I've heard for the last what seems like hours shoots from him, but in a soothing cadence that is a welcome respite. A fuzzy, hypnotic rhythm comes from the side of the stage. A drum beat from the back. A crunching from yet another side. The beams from our heads begin to change color, flashing and cutting across the air. Words spew from his mouth now in perfect sync with the sounds unleashed from behind him, onto us.

"I have no idea what I am talking about!" he screams. "I am trapped in this body and can't get out!" My head no longer aches, my body no longer twitches, my pores no longer sweat. They dictate the feeling now. "They got a skin and put me in ... all the lines wrapped around my face ... and for anyone else to see!" he directs to us. "I'm a liiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!"

That's when the drugs kicked in.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Here's a Question...

Why is Dilbert so god-damned funny?

Democrats turn to not so subtle tactics

Apparently libs have run out of campaign ideas, so now they are setting donkeys loose in key battleground states. Actually come to think of it I did see an elephant story on fox news.

Is this what politics has come to folks? I sure hope so.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Obama's Fact Checkers Should Stick To Checkers

I just finished reading Unfit For Publication, O'Shaman's response to Crazy Corsi's silly book. So I will jump on the everyone's-facts-are-wrong bandwagon and point out another part of Corsi's book that is inaccurate, one that apparently evaded the Obamans.

The "line-by-line" refutation includes a quote from the book for each point; a mention of City Journal caught my attention: "LIE: 'Sol Stern, a contributing editor of Chicago's City Journal, has observed that while Ayers today 'is widely regarded as a member in good standing of the city's civic establishment, not an unrepentant domestic terrorist,' the impression of Ayer's good citizenship is incorrect.' " The quote can be found in this article.

City Journal (as the latest copy next to me says) is published by the Manhattan Institute, out of New York, not Chicago. Also, for Corsi to say Stern's "impression of.. good citizenship is incorrect" is insane. From the original article...

"In the ultraliberal Hyde Park community where the presidential candidate first earned his political spurs, Ayers is widely regarded as a member in good standing of the city’s civic establishment, not an unrepentant domestic terrorist. But Obama and his critics are arguing about the wrong moral question. The more pressing issue is not the damage done by the Weather Underground 40 years ago, but the far greater harm inflicted on the nation’s schoolchildren by the political and educational movement in which Ayers plays a leading role today."

The Obamans should never have given this guy a second of their time. I think it was just to take attention off what I can only assume is the better book on the subject. I have a feeling the entire rebuttal will backfire...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Six Degres for Certification

Charles Murray, the guy who co-authored The Bell Curve (which I happen to be making my way through at the moment) has an essay about what he thinks should be done to the education system. As someone who falls into the category of people his idea is supposed to disadvantage, I still agree.

Rockin in the free world

The title link (since I cannot figure out how to link the way I want in the article, whatever.) contains some groundbreaking new evidence to the age old question: Are all bass players gay?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Polymeme, meme, meme, meme, meme........

I decided to google the world-renouned Back Porch Burner. Some website called Polymeme has linked us to a story about China's Great Firewall. The site is barely a month old, but may be interesting. I don't have high hopes.

I see Dawkin's "memes" basically as the sociobiological equivalent of the identity property of multiplication. It is an "operation" on a concept which yields nothing informative or interesting about the the original concept (Vinny, it's also dividing by 1, I know how much you love that idea). It's "absolute" science. Manifest objectivity. Allowing emotionless consideration of anything communicable. What could be more powerful?

The problems are obvious. We are people, we (will) have emotions.

Memetics is a signpost for ulterior motives.

I wonder what a website based around the idea of memes could hope to accomplish. I think I'll try to find out regardless.

Al Jazeera: Peninsula of Preconception

***Warning*** The following may only be interesting to Conservatives***

Al Jazeera is trolling the list of the 100 Most Popular Political Websites (according to rightwingnews.com) looking for people to contribute "some brief interviews... on the political news of the week."

David Frum commented on his experience with the channel last Thursday.

LittleGreenFootballs got their request a couple of days ago and posted a response.

Hey Hellcat, what's the opinion of Al Jazeera over at the Post?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Return of Religion

"That is what religion promises: not a purpose, necessarily, but something that removes the paradox of an entirely law-governed world, open to consciousness, that is nevertheless without an explanation: that just is, for no reason at all."

This is a good reminder that while science may give us the causes of so many things about ourselves and our world, it can never give us reason. Science, which is what is used by most Atheists to belie religion, will not allow you to question anything further than that thing's cause. Religion attempts to provide reason, whether the particular religion is right or wrong is irrelevant, in a very clever way:

"...people are satisfied that they understand the world and know its meaning when they can see it as the outward form of another 'I' - the 'I' of God, in which we all stand judged, and from which love and freedom flow."

He also says that atheists see all faiths as being in the condition of Islam today: rooted in dogmas that cannot be safely questioned. Do you guys think most "nonbelievers" see religion that way?

Government Harasses Amerithrax Suspect?

A lot of articles I've read are talking about how the government harassed Bruce Ivins and that led him to kill himself. Why didn't Steven Hatfill kill himself when he was presumably "harassed" at least as much? We got the right guy....

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Post-Sovereign Tactics

Canada's "Human Rights" Commission... think, The "Peoples'" Republic of China...


*The quote in the last paragraph of the Time article includes "...a big favor — but only for the time being." Can favors expire?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Obama Supporters Hurt, The One Remains Strong

Obama backers Bernie Mac and Morgan Freeman both hospitalized


I'm speechless... Should have getted meself a English Dagree. Will mentioning people here-to-fore be prefaced with political affiliation??

Don't call it a comeback...

For the first time ever, McCain is ahead in one of the polls, when "leaners" are taken into account. I think it was all about those ads. Thoughts?