I guess we all know by now that if you really want to mix it up with uninhibited beasts, raw and thoroughly bizarre behavior of the Earth's most primitive and just the overall disgusting and depressing that walk among us, you go to one place: a free zoo. And I'm not talking about the assorted cages, aquariums and fake Serengetis manufactured to wow the gawkers. I speak of us ... you and me ... the damn, dirty humans. (I won't get into the ethical dilemmas that arise when strolling through such a soul-crushing place like a zoo in July ... okay, maybe I will. Once vibrant and exotic beings are rendered lifeless and morose in shabbily-kept pens. And it's not as if all of the animals are completely unaware of their situation; the two lions promptly ran to, then paced around, the door that led to the indoor area of their facility just before 4:00, the time when they are allowed out of their dusty display field and into whatever is better inside. Not fun for anyone apparently.)
Yeah, I know, it was July 4, the temperature hovered somewhere in the 85 degree neighborhood and the laws of simple human biology require our bodies to release moisture to cool off. I get it. But does everyone have to act, look and seem so miserable? Is there anything more embarrassing then to see what should be a relatively intelligent person stand underneath one of those mist sprinklers like some kind of livestock in heat? And people, is the cutoff shirt really a necessity? I think I've come face-to-pit with the dead raccoon languishing under some walking sweat stain's sleeveless arm one to many times. I'd rather be slinging shit around with the orangutans.
Yes, I should have known what I was getting into. But if there's any day I have the right to bitch about my fellow Americans, it's on our country's birthday. I guess I've seen worse; I could've gone to a county fair.
No comments:
Post a Comment