Confession

I am writing this post to admit something I've been hiding for a long time. I was visiting a friend once in a college town in Missouri where the current Democratic presidential candidate, Barack Obama had been holding a rally. At our rally afterparty, the Senator showed up to all of our surprise. While there I was privy to Mr. Obama engaging in lewd sexual acts towards a squirrel -a baby squirrel. I know this because I was the other half of what he called an "Eiffel Tower". While high-fiving he swore me not to tell anyone, but I think the time has come to rid myself of the crushing guilt.

This is all the God's-honest truth. I was going to release the story on wikileak, but I don't think their security is very good anymore. I pray for mercy...